sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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