in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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