it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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