craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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