Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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