I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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