Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
