Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
