yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
two words...techno handjob
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
