Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
