Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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