I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
