I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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