If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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