Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My dick has a subreddit
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
