She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
