2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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