i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I see more hoeing in ur future
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