whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
