Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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