I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
