i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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