is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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