there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
