I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
