i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
