5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
