Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
