dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
