just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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