did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
