The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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