I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
