Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
