Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
