I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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