i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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