come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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