But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
