You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
