I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
