I skipped work to stalk him.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need water and some morals
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
