I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
