It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
