At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
