don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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