I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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