I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
