His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
