The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
