why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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