I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
