i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
