talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
